I have a tummy full of Timmys and I’m belting out my guilty pleasure song at the top of my lungs along to the radio. It’s a moment of rejuvenation.

This morning’s shower returned me to my original state. I’ve interacted with hundreds of people in my Quest thus far, full contact and personal. My openness to beliefs and ideologies has me vulnerable and influenced. Encounters with all levels of others’ good and bad energy. It’s liberating and contaminating. The rain sent it all back to where it came from. I’m a new version of clean.

Outlaw Radio on SiriusXM with Hillbilly Jim, six songs in sequence:

Exile – “I Wanna Kiss You All Over” – Kentucky superstars. The simple progression of the one chord to the four chord repetition is all that’s needed to put lyrics to. I think it’s melodically perfect. That first bass “ba-doop” gets me every time. An enjoyable period before they go to the five. And of course the big ending. Damn. Every time. I nice musical tie to my whereabouts geographically.

Alabama – “Mountain Music” – I’m about to drive into the Appalachian Hills, hopefully to get a taste of just this. Mountain Music, like grandma and grandpa used to play. Alabama sits in a similar place as N’SYNC for me. Remember “God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You”? Nonetheless, I sing along, like “Bye, Bye, Bye”. Bass shots at the end…ba-doom, crash, ba-doom, crash, ba-doom, crash…snare, snare, snare.

Waylon Jennings – “Don’t You Think This Outlaw Bit’s Done Got Out Of Hand” – Big bass notes, bow-bow-bow. This song says it all. The online pissing matches and self-proclamations of being an “Outlaw.” I sit beyond it – a Truther. Allow me to let the cat out of the bag, the unwritten rule is you can refer to others with the word, but never yourself. I thought everybody knew that. Qualities held by iconic individuals referred to as “Outlaws”: Compassion, truth, loyalty, devotion, artistry, spirituality, courage, authenticity, encouragement. The ability to fully dedicate to and honour these qualities comes with the recognition of duality. We all have a dark-side and its a difficult battle to live a passionate life by suppressing the evils. The indulgence gives a sense of balance and can easily run amuck. This is where the ‘bad-boy’ fasçade originates from. An “Outlaw” will always stand up for the underdog and empower others. Hopefully in the journey, overcome demons. The “Outlaws” also championed God – Cash’s rebirth in the cave to Nelson’s sense of spirituality. Jenning’s disclosure in “I Do Believe”, Kristofferson’s gratefulness in “Why Me Lord”.

John Hiatt – “You’re All The Reason I Need” – With his usage of the word ‘baby’, this song is about a woman. A devotion to a woman. I allow myself to interpret the word to suit my thoughts as I drive through the Bible belt. I’ve scanned XM radio I found myself curious in the content on the Christian stations – I can appreciate a positive message but wow, cookie cut fodder. “You’re All The Reason I Need” speaks to me deeper about my connection to Christ than anything on those other Christian music channels. I’m genuinely moved by this song with the reimagining of the message. I pass three crosses on the side of the road – another synchronicity.

Margo Price – “Tennessee Song” – The phase on that lead. Sha-wing. Considering my direction of travel, southwest out of Ashland, I am doing as Margo suggests – going back to Tennessee. We went to see Sturgill in Winnipeg this summer to suite our touring schedule. The coming Saturday we were to play the “Rock the Harvest Festival” in Austin, Manitoba. Six Shooter Record’s Interstellar Rodeo happened to be the same weekend in Winnipeg so as a band we made a live-music listen/play/work trip out of the whole ordeal. Margo Price played Interstellar on the Saturday night alongside Wilco. The Saturday that we had to miss to head west of the city to play “Rock the Harvest”.  Double disappointment, Wilco and Margo. She rocks – seems cool, collected and vibrant in her own sound. Hardcore. I dig.

Sturgill Simpson – “Brace for Impact” – All the other songs have held their own cosmic message, I can only assume it’s time to buckle up. The Apotheosis has spoken.

three crosses

I’ve made my way back onto the freeway and am passed by my yellow mustang. Same colour, make, model, year. Tinted windows – maybe replaced bumper, who knows. Not enough time to see if the hind driver side rear panel has the paint scratched off in a three inch chuck where their brother ran into it with the front end loader. Or if the rear drivers side quarter glass was shattered unexpectedly while they were driving around pissed off one evening. New clutch, windshield, and mustang emblem. Someone tore mine off the first week I had it, drove around for thirteen years without one.

That car has done me well. Like my Catholicism. Sometimes tough to be seen in as it doesn’t properly represent my character. Like my Catholicism. But room needs to be made for greater things to come in. With the news that my landlord was selling my place of residence on September 1st – I held a garage sale. Again, very sporadic. One day I was packing a couple items into boxes and then next, everything must go. It was a success and cathartic. Vehicles were up for sale as well – The Whitebear, my diesel touring van with 440,000 kms and my 3.8 L 2002 yellow Ford Mustang. 240,000 km. Highway miles. Medicine Hat to Regina and back. It ended up being an efficient little acoustic touring vehicle, tough sleeps though. I’d arrange gear, pull down the backs of the read seat and lay half in the trunk, still unable to stretch out. A reclined driver’s seat gave for more zzzz.

I took pictures of it before I left with the intent to go through the avenues of sale. Bill of sale already signed, sitting on Melanie’s kitchen table.

Sometimes you have to part with emotional attachments to make room for greater things.

Mustangs, for sure. Maybe even Catholicism.